A very happy memory. :)

I had to just share this happy memory here.... I am overwhelmed in missing my Dad, and this memory came from out of nowhere, and my eyes flooded with tears. They are happy tears though, and I just miss my Dad.

Long ago, I think Caleb was so little even, we were having a big get together, almost like a family reunion at the beach. I had no idea how hard this was going to be to pull off, lol, I mean in regards to what my intentions were. My goal, was to save firepits, or at least one, all day, so that at night we had a good one! We were right by the jetty too, and we had someone there all day. Most people couldn't come until later on, they worked or had things to do with kids, etc. I totally understood that. So it turned out to be that we just enjoyed whoever we could, as they COULD be there.

My Dad of course, wanted to come early, and we really lucked out in this regard as I look back. :) He ended up leaving early enough to miss some of the others, and he was always funny kind of, about his "time" and schedule, etc. Barbara was even there with him :) She packed a nice cooler of snacks and food, and he brought his chairs. I have pictures of him down by the water with Caleb. :) This memory makes me just deeply happy! Taking in the sun, the sounds of the beach and everything there. It was the very place we took that walk out on the jetty SO long ago when I fell, but was totally ok. :) SO many good memories at this beach, I just truly love it. :)

You know what? Life is so precious and even if you know that already, you don't really know just HOW precious it is until you lose someone, and have just your memories of what you did choose to do on a given day in your life. It gives me so much perspective. :)

Later, Paul, Nancy, Olvers all came I believe. Aunt Donna came too...we all had a grand ole time! I love that day, and one of my favorite pictures ever, taken with Tim was from that day. We were ALL so happy! The night came, we had hotdogs and s'mores, and I will never ever ever forget that wonderful day. We almost lost a flip flop later that night, it was Vanessa's I think... We FINALLY found it, and all were so happy for such a fun day. Yeah we were so sunburned and exhausted, but who cares? Life is precious and we lived it fully, that day. :D

A dream worth remembering

A Dream

This was a dream I didn't want to end. It made me deeply happy, FEEL deeply happy. There were so many people all around, people still coming too. You know how dreams are, not fully real or understandable, but they 'work' enough for the time being. For instance, we were at Aunt Donna's (Mom's Sister) old house, but not one that I recall, for some reason. I was staying there, or moving there, everything was crazy but good. So many happy people, it was a celebration of sorts. I think Maureen was there, other relatives. Many more were coming. My sister, Aunt Donna Dente, and 2 other ladies at least showed up, I think Ahn was with them, and they were happy and throwing arms up in the air! :)

The one lady pulled me aside, and asked if we could go to the Mall in the morning, was there any way we could fit it in, and she REALLY wanted to go, and was scrunching up her eyes in hope that I would say yes.. how odd? lol I said yes, she was happy and ran down the hall. My cousins Tommy, Donny and Larry all showed up next at the door. I hugged them each so big, and they were happy and kind of shy, and I asked them if it was weird coming to this house, they said yeah but it was cool. SO much was going on all around, there was no way to keep up possibly.

Then I turned around and in the hall near the bathroom was Uncle Tommy! I gave a huge smile and hug, and he somehow lifted me up way above his head, with a big smile, SO happy to see me. I was feeling so happy and shy, and overwhelmed by the love of my family. I looked down the hall, and Papa!!!! was coming, and doing a little trick with fabric and flames?? lol, but was totally safe and having SUCH a wonderful time. Smiling and carrying on, wow..... I cannot believe this dream.

Then something woke me up... and I was so disappointed because I was having truly, the best time in the dream. I had to write this down so I never forget it, but most of all, I don't want to forget the reunited feeling.. Somehow, I feel very close to my Dad tonight, and I think EVERYONE was there, in the dream, but I just somehow didn't get around to everyone. Music, atmosphere and lots of love. The kind of dream that touches on the kind of stuff life is made of. :) Thank you God, for that dream... not sure what it means that some were dead, some are definitely still alive in it. My heart is truly so touched right now, at how intensely happy that dream made me.
Love to all.

It's a beautiful Day!!!

I am so blessed that I just had to write.
My two boys are here today, as it is spring break.
They are doing what all little boys should get the chance to do, once in a while.
They are climbing trees, catching snakes, and bugs for those snakes, lol....
They are jumping on trampolines, and running around
They are catching four leaf clovers.....
This is just precious to me. To top it all off, the weather could not be more 'alive', and beautiful
There is a lot of wind, and it is unseasonably warm.
It took us all outside, and for me, I just had to work with my plants.
We ran to the pet store later, because you need crickets for those snakes, lol....
We purchased water plants also for all those babies our live bearing fish have been having...


I just never wanted to forget this kind of carefree day, with children being children, running around in the 'woods' out back. The wind blowing through the trees, that do not quite have their leaves yet. The wind is loud, and so beautiful. It blows my hair all around my face, but I don't mind, because this, is my favorite kind of day. Thank you God for days like this. May I always be thankful even when the hard times come too. You are just the best. Thanks for all your gifts, I love you......

Something to say to Him...

I love you more than there are words in this world to describe.
You are the best, and I am so lucky to know you
Why don't I realize this more often?
Give me the perspective every day that I have breath.
I need you to live. To live is you, and you are love.
Love comes from you, and you are the ultimate origin.
I have a human mind, and I am frail in comparison
Yet I desire you, to know you in any way I can
Can my mind conceive of you?
What will you let me know of you now?
Please, let it be. You know my heart, deep down, and ultimately.
There will always be love, and there will always be you and me.
I love you my Jesus, you are my heart

For this, my name is sparkle....

My name is sparkle....for all practical purposes. Don't ask...just how it is. Those that must know, already do. Life is so complex, but in someways, so simple also. I have found, that besides love, and God, that Perspective is everything.
Simply put, this blog is not here to impress anyone. I want it to be as if no one at all will ever see it. Obviously, I don't mind that you are seeing it though. I must write, and have it though, as if not a soul ever sees it. This will have to be ok. It will serve its purpose.
If ever, in my blog, my message speaks to anyone's heart or mind, it will be a reward that I did not expect.
My only wish really, on this earth, is to give glory to the one and only true God.
I will also say, I am complex. Complex, is actually an understatement. Oh well.
Love to God and his world.
I love all his creation.